I understand loving me isn’t easy. I recognise
I’m moody, I’m difficult, I have artistic moments,
I am overly sensitive and I shut myself down
far too rapidly. Maybe it isn’t supposed to be
easy, it isn’t like fairytales teach us it is, there
obstacles, there’s villains, there’s big bad wolves
and wicked step-mothers and all of those awful
spells that keep true love apart. So it’s meant
to be hard, and I know sometimes You don’t
want to look at my words and there are times
I can’t bear Yours either. But that doesn’t mean
I will stop loving You, or stop fighting for You or
just give up. And right now I feel like I am stranded
somewhere in the middle of nowhere out there in
the dark stormy night, and all I wish is that You
would come and get me but I know You just want
to leave me on the other side of the glass. On
the other side of expendability, on the other side
of love. But please, be patient, I’m scared and
I don’t know how to convey I trust You because I
forgot how to trust. When You opened the hinge
on my heart so many things flew out, bright
things, love things, waves of violent emotion,
purity of love for You, my Seraphim, but dark
things flew out too. Dark emotions that burn
in the night and grip my thoughts like a vice
and have such a hold on me that I step back
with things I feel, things I need to tell You,
things I want to show You, things I love because
I am scared You will love them too and I don’t
want You to ever thing that I love those things
only for You and that I didn’t before we met.
So there it is, some things are worth staying
for, some things are worth loving for, some
things are worth taking the difficult moments
for. Because I love You, and for everything else
I left before the fight began. I closed myself off
and turned and never looked back. But for You,
I love. I stand in the rain. I let the downpour wash
the blackness away until I can see the stars. It
was always You, it was never anyone but You, I
don’t know how I can ever make You believe that
or take those doubts away. It was You. It will
always be You. Thousands of years from now when
we both have returned to the stardust we came from
it will still be You. Because I am Yours.
(Please be mine. Please be mine. Please be mine.)

~ © Valentyna Holloway

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015