Fairy Tale

Once upon a heart, there was a girl who fell in love.
Eternal, requited, yet full of insane obstacles
and a world seemingly conspiring to keep them
apart. She tried to let go, but it was always Him.
No one else would compare. She lost her glass
slipper and he found it and told her she was
the most beautiful woman in the kingdom.
And still~ she stayed quietly in the shadows.
Patient. Waiting. There was always something
missing with someone else. That spark He lit
inside her. It just wasn’t there unless she was
around Him and then it turned into a raging
wildfire. And so it goes…she will wait for Him.
Her soul, forever gone. For she gave it to Him
long ago in another lifetime and she ask it not
be returned. Her only wish that it not be lost
in his pocket. Forgotten. That somehow, He too
was watching out the window casting a wish
on the same star. Praying to be with her. For
fairy tales are meant to end with:
Happily Ever After.

  • Valentyna Holloway ©

 

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2016

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Arcane Legends Painted on a Wall

They left instructions.
Painted a map.
Only the worthy were to understand.
That is where You and I come in.

They live among us in disguse, like other creatures
of Divine nature. Hidden in plain sight from the
prying eyes of the world. Perhaps You and I had
something in common with them and that is why
we understand. Perhaps it is because You too are
one of the Divine. They left clues all over the island,
painting, writing, things that appeared in the
morning light that weren’t there the night before.

As the tides are pulled by the moon, drawn into
the ocean by cosmic force, You and I are magnetically
drawn to the island. To the mountains that drop into
the sea, to the gardens where koi swim as if they
were in a land far away, to the shore where the
fishermen cast their lines and colourful boats
dot the shore as they have for centuries.

We wander, You and I, hand in hand down the street
reading the strange markings, trying to decipher
the strange marking, wondering what the meant,
who could have left them, why local legend said
they only appear at night. Then suddenly, You
found an image on a wall.

The people on the street oblivious to Your discovery
passing us by as we stood. While to You and I it
became clear. The image was of houses, with strange
windows, each house bearing a strange flat roof,
the shading underneath seeming to represent the
sea, the darkness surrounding the houses with
no moon or stars in the sky seemed to represent
the interior of a cave.

It could only mean one thing. Merpeople.

Those mythic creatures sought after for centuries,
sirens that called sailors to their deaths in murky
depths, mermaids and mermen that gracefully
swam alongside boats guiding them to safetly.
Creatures that could not walk upon the land but
could breathe the oxygen in the water underneath
the sea.

Half-fish, half-human, and here, upon the land
a map had been left. Perhaps for only the very brave
and the very astute to find. To share the knowledge
of their existance, that perhaps, just perhaps
legends were correct and there were rare cases of
those who could walk upon the land bringing
serene calm to those they encountered.

We wandered that day, through the old town, up
and down the streets. Seeking more, seeking knowledge,
seeking the unknown, the forbidden. Until we found
a door. A mermaid gracefully swinging as a playful
dolphin beckoned the chosen to open the door and
step inside.

I looked up at You with curious eyes. You nodded to
me.

I knocked.

We waited.

I knocked again, a little firmer this time.

And a voice, deep as the ocean bid us to enter…

(to be continued…)

  • Valentyna Holloway ©

Inspired by Your photo…which I dare not post…unless You…

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2016

Impatience of the Heart

Impatience of the Heart

Standing.
Here, in the crowd, in the middle of everyone.
Watching, some walking with others, maybe a
lover, maybe a friend, some holding hands, people
freely expressing the kindest love, some holding
coffee, rushing, or slowly sauntering, some with their
hands in their pockets, unconcerned about the day,
about the busy, about the crowd. I clench my hands
tightly, digging my nails into my palm as if that in
itself will release the darkness built up inside me,
release to the light. I dig my nails in until it is hurting,
leaving an impression in my palm, distracting me
from the commotion. I look around my eyes feeling numb.
Watching the particles suspend in the air, the shades
of colour from the shades of grey. The outline of the trees,
their branches bare, showing off to the sky, to the grass,
to the creatures. I walk towards the bridge lost in
thoughts and I wait. Counting the number of thoughts
that run through my mind. I close my eyes, surrendered
to wishes, consumed by the darkness that numbs
my sense. And then, just before the darkness overtakes me
entirely, I feel You. Walking behind me, and the clouds part
in Your wake. And somehow, in one touch, the darkness
lifts and You shine Your brightness into the darkest
corners of my soul. Making me wonder if perhaps
my darkness was only impatience of the heart.

  • Valentyna Holloway ©

swans in roath park in january

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2016

Confessions in a Frisson

Loving You
is the most terrifying thing
I have ever done.
It’s not because I worry that You
will break my heart,
(I trust You too much for that)
or that I worry outside influences
will twist this fragile love
into something else and spiral
us into indifference,
(I freely give You my heart forever)
or that I worry that my insecurities
will overwhelm us both and we will
drift into silence.
(I am strong because of You)
What I am trying to say is this is
frightening because I grow with You,
not towards You or away from You
but with You. Like two sunflowers
who’s stems have twisted together and
turn to face the sun sharing the same light,
the same air, the same moon at night.
My love for You feels like I am walking
outside for the first time, exploring the world
with open eyes and an open heart instead of
shutting myself in darkness behind walls.
You turned the sky on for me, lighting up the
constellations, the vastness of the universe
shining down on us in millions of twinkling
stars and cosmic trails of stardust that
illuminate under our skin.
You make the ordinary extraordinary for me,
bring to life the beauty of the world around us,
I am wide-eyed and trembling at the wonder
in a flower and the changing leaves on trees.
Music, literature, poetry all come alive for me
because You stoked that flame inside me and
suddenly everything had a different meaning,
they weren’t just words, letters strung together,
I could feel Your pulse through mine bringing
the words of love alive.
For no other will I ever long to kneel in Worship,
to share the most intimate frisson that courses
through my veins and my need to convey those
same feelings to You. You awakened that desire
in me, without You it wouldn’t exist. My lips
long for Your kiss, my body aches for your touch.
You are the part of my heart that didn’t
know how to beat.
Take my hand. Share this love with me,
Let’s fall off the edge of the universe
together.

– Valentyna Holloway ©

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015

Unsuspecting Roses

Raindrops on the last roses of summer,
the soft scent of petrichor blowing through
the open window. Slowly, rhythmically
adding ingredients, memory of a moment
creeping in as my fingers knead the dough
beginning to form under my fingers. Tears
welled in my eyes as I remember fragments
of something I wrote of while baking before.
Words of love written in pure intent. The
sky begins to clear as my hands fumble
with the bread, it’s not perfect, neither am I,
I won’t profess to be. I am broken, scarred,
fragile, as frail as the petals that cling to the
purple blooms and I don’t know how to convey
what I am feeling inside. The words refuse
to come out. The scent of baking bread
permeates the air as I am mesmerised
watching the dough rise and turn colour.
The things I want to tell You escaping my
fingers in letters I will never give You. There
would never be a right time. I worry You
would brush them off anyway. I take the bread
from the oven and set it by the window to cool.
All I can think of is how I want to share this
with You. Words written with unwilling fingers,
sacred words penned for You that fall unceasingly
from my heart, even though the syllables feel
unappreciated. I set the table, longing to share
the bread with You but unable to say it. Instead
I look out the window at the garden listening to
mellifluous birdsong causing an unwanted smile.
Unconsciously turning to thoughts of You and
teardrops from Heaven on unsuspecting roses.

~ Valentyna Holloway ©

Rosesintherain3

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015

Dénouement

I understand loving me isn’t easy. I recognise
I’m moody, I’m difficult, I have artistic moments,
I am overly sensitive and I shut myself down
far too rapidly. Maybe it isn’t supposed to be
easy, it isn’t like fairytales teach us it is, there
obstacles, there’s villains, there’s big bad wolves
and wicked step-mothers and all of those awful
spells that keep true love apart. So it’s meant
to be hard, and I know sometimes You don’t
want to look at my words and there are times
I can’t bear Yours either. But that doesn’t mean
I will stop loving You, or stop fighting for You or
just give up. And right now I feel like I am stranded
somewhere in the middle of nowhere out there in
the dark stormy night, and all I wish is that You
would come and get me but I know You just want
to leave me on the other side of the glass. On
the other side of expendability, on the other side
of love. But please, be patient, I’m scared and
I don’t know how to convey I trust You because I
forgot how to trust. When You opened the hinge
on my heart so many things flew out, bright
things, love things, waves of violent emotion,
purity of love for You, my Seraphim, but dark
things flew out too. Dark emotions that burn
in the night and grip my thoughts like a vice
and have such a hold on me that I step back
with things I feel, things I need to tell You,
things I want to show You, things I love because
I am scared You will love them too and I don’t
want You to ever thing that I love those things
only for You and that I didn’t before we met.
So there it is, some things are worth staying
for, some things are worth loving for, some
things are worth taking the difficult moments
for. Because I love You, and for everything else
I left before the fight began. I closed myself off
and turned and never looked back. But for You,
I love. I stand in the rain. I let the downpour wash
the blackness away until I can see the stars. It
was always You, it was never anyone but You, I
don’t know how I can ever make You believe that
or take those doubts away. It was You. It will
always be You. Thousands of years from now when
we both have returned to the stardust we came from
it will still be You. Because I am Yours.
(Please be mine. Please be mine. Please be mine.)

~ © Valentyna Holloway

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015

Sunshine

I have stopped being sorry for my fragile,
for my soft, for my gentle. No longer will
I apologise for telling You I miss You, or
because I need to tell You. I will no longer
close myself off or bottle things up, I will
tell You upfront what is bothering me
because I can’t expect You to read my
mind or my innuendos or always know
instinctually what is wrong. I don’t want
You to think I am cold or indifferent or
noncommunicative. I want to be completely
honest, I want to be able to tell You at 3AM
that I love You, that I am overwhelmed with
feelings for You, that I am drowning in a sea
of passion at the thought of Your touch. I would
rather You know it than have it bottled up
inside and trying to fumble with the words to
tell You hours later. And if I am overwhelmed by
those same feelings at 5AM, I am going to tell You
that too. I don’t want to be patient about those things.
I don’t want to be patient to tell You how happy You
make me, how overwhelmed with desire I become,
how I think about You and my whole body reacts.
And I think You want to know that too. So that is
how it is going to be from now on. If I wake up in
the middle of the night aching for Your touch
with fumbling fingers and waves hitting the shore
so hard cliffs fall into the sea You are going to know
about it. And at the crack of dawn too. No more
pretending from me. Not anymore. Not ever.
I’m standing in the kitchen overwhelmed with
feelings for You making coffee in the morning
with shallow rapid breaths and thoughts of
You spilling through my mind like sunshine
through the window. You’re going to hear about it.
And right now, here, with a china dish of
raspberries in front of me, here, I want to kiss You.
Right now, right here. I want You so badly I can
feel thunderclouds, lightning hitting and rain
pouring down it is crashing against the hard
ground in massive contracting waves. But the
sunshine is pouring through the window and
playing on my skin and all I can think after the
rapid crashes is take my hands, stroke my
fingers, pull me into You. Kiss my mouth.
I am all Yours.

~ © Valentyna Holloway

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015