I have stopped being sorry for my fragile,
for my soft, for my gentle. No longer will
I apologise for telling You I miss You, or
because I need to tell You. I will no longer
close myself off or bottle things up, I will
tell You upfront what is bothering me
because I can’t expect You to read my
mind or my innuendos or always know
instinctually what is wrong. I don’t want
You to think I am cold or indifferent or
noncommunicative. I want to be completely
honest, I want to be able to tell You at 3AM
that I love You, that I am overwhelmed with
feelings for You, that I am drowning in a sea
of passion at the thought of Your touch. I would
rather You know it than have it bottled up
inside and trying to fumble with the words to
tell You hours later. And if I am overwhelmed by
those same feelings at 5AM, I am going to tell You
that too. I don’t want to be patient about those things.
I don’t want to be patient to tell You how happy You
make me, how overwhelmed with desire I become,
how I think about You and my whole body reacts.
And I think You want to know that too. So that is
how it is going to be from now on. If I wake up in
the middle of the night aching for Your touch
with fumbling fingers and waves hitting the shore
so hard cliffs fall into the sea You are going to know
about it. And at the crack of dawn too. No more
pretending from me. Not anymore. Not ever.
I’m standing in the kitchen overwhelmed with
feelings for You making coffee in the morning
with shallow rapid breaths and thoughts of
You spilling through my mind like sunshine
through the window. You’re going to hear about it.
And right now, here, with a china dish of
raspberries in front of me, here, I want to kiss You.
Right now, right here. I want You so badly I can
feel thunderclouds, lightning hitting and rain
pouring down it is crashing against the hard
ground in massive contracting waves. But the
sunshine is pouring through the window and
playing on my skin and all I can think after the
rapid crashes is take my hands, stroke my
fingers, pull me into You. Kiss my mouth.
I am all Yours.

~ © Valentyna Holloway

Do Not Reproduce Poetry In Whole Or In Part Without Permission

© @ValentyneDreams — Valentyna Holloway 2015


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